When I was a kid I had all kinds of friends. I also realized I had sections of separate friends and all always were shocked to see me with other people always hanging out and then the next day friends would be like.
“Hey man, I saw you with that one dude,”
and Id be like
“Yeah man, thats my friend from the other side of town.
“Oh yeah how do you know that person?”
“Family, work, school, church, sports, family friends”
Holy shyt I knew so many people, its ridiculous! I remember when I was a kid, my Grandmother said that I was going to be the mayor one day because too many people annoyed her from having to stop and say hi to me or even just them yelling from across the street lol. I loved having so many friends even though I wasn’t outgoing as a kid. I was very shy and dressed like such a geek lol. I tried to be cook sometimes but then I would find myself liking to dress nice. I don’t get it though with girls growing up. So many different girls like me at different times because of my clothes. I told my dad and he couldn’t stop laughing. I was mad when he told his friends at the italian club he would go to in Jersey. See for the most part I had a lot of kids that liked me but what was so weird was that they seemed to forget to say hi when I was in school. Outside of school I was lucky not to get weirdly jumped by them. Once your parents get involved with the people you know from your school and other shyt they start talking to each other, you know, the parents. They start inviting for parties. It’s sickening. One time my famiy invited all my friends over and I was so embarrassed. I had all these kids from different schools and there was this weird old school basket ball grammar school fight and I never really knew about it until my dad was talking to a neighbor and they started talking about basketball and the politics in our town.
“Hey you trying to win man of the year?”
No asshole why do you asked?”
Thats how everyone talks to each other where I’m from when they are annoyed by one another.
“Well, you invited to grammar school basketball teams that have had the longest rivalry.”
“Are you kiddin me, all these kids play ball and hang out and go down the park all the goddamn time together. Your gonna tell me some weirdo school team ritual is going to cause problems and I should be commended for that. Sorry, I can’t see it”
See here is where I think it’s all bullshyt. How was it that the kids from the more poor area knew about the rivalry more than the kids in the new school i was at? But the only thing that happened was that some of the kids joked because the one leader of my new school basket ball player was best friends with all the kids from my old school but we all knew each other anyway and was cool accept for certain kids that were geeky like me but I still to this day can’t even understand why so many kids liked me and would see me on the street and ask me to come with them. I felt like I’d be too tired to go hang out and would just want to go home and nap and eat lol. Most of the time that is until I started riding skateboards and that’s when I finally hit my peek and started to realize the divide and the attitude in other kids. There was so many times that kids started shyt with me and as a kid I was so blanked out from it that I would just be like alright whatever and walk away. And eventually find friends that wanted to hang.
I grew up with so many people of different social classes and different races and religions that its so abnormal not to be around that mix of people. I am not in that environment like on the block I stay. However, it is that way because I can easily just get on a bus and go to where there are more of a mix of different cultures. I wish I had a good movie cam and a car and lots of money so I can go to so many different places to eat and film it and put it on Youtube. I love eating over my friends houses that always cooked rich. My family would use spices when they cooked and it tasted amazing and not many kids had family like that. My one friend Cory used to come over all the time and eat over. He was so excited from my grams cooking that he wouldn’t even look at me when we were about to eat. His eyes would get all wide. I asked him if his mom cooked like that and he said yes but I would always see them order food. Anyway, no biggie, I was glad my friend would come over because we would always chill and talk. We used to talk about black power and used to talk about black panthers and MOVE and all kinds of shyt like kemet stuff but we never tried the magick part. I remember him saying stuff like third eye but I was scared of that shyt because I was a born again christian as a kid.
When I was about 11 I got hurt real bad and had to go to the hospital and I had rode this big huge red tenspeed bike. My family thought the bike was bad luck so they got me a bike with pegs so I could kill myself. I started to hang out with these kids that all they did was into riding bikes and listening to heavy metal. I was into metal but they knew everything and everyone about it. They also used to talk about getting guitars and drums and I didn’t think about it but then all of a sudden I started listening to Iron Maiden and Metallica and I thought wait I think I can play drums like and I couldn’t just yet but something came over me when my friend Rudolpho came over and brought double bass pedals and a dime bag of weed. I cooked steak and split it with him and I never stopped playing drums. I met so many people and started going to shows and music became my life and having a metal band became a goal that I never really reached but I met a few weirdo’s just like me that liked rap and metal and we formed a band that totally rocked our community. That was so many years later. You know I literally can go back to my town and run for Mayor but I can’t stand the fucking cold anymore. I refuse to ever pick up a shovel and pay a lot of money for a coat that I can wear so I wont die on the way to the store. Hell, these days if it’s not a racist harassing your girlfriend trying to pick up energy drinks for her game time, it’s the snow in New York City trapping your car in and you have to get a shovel and get it out and hope no old ladies ask you for help lol hahahah just kidding. But I asked god at the time when I was crazy and believed in god that when I shoveled that I wouldn’t be stopped because I wanted to just go to work and not worry about anything and that if i lost the parking oh well. Well anyway, I can’t seem to remember any more people accept my band. My band became my family. My band was with me through so many crazy things in my life. I still had so many friends accept they were all living their life and I was always hopping around from house to house from uptown to down town and all the other cities near by. Always meeting new people but appreciating the people I already knew. When I got older and would go to bars, I didn’t really know people. There was a span of about 10 years that I totally became a hermit and lived in the projects downtown with my ex and my kids. I always had people’s over but I was settled and not really hanging out. Things changed and people changed and some things remained the same. I was glad to just be cool with people. I remember a few times coming into town after having been gone so long some kids would be disrespectful but I would check them and people told me I was crazy but some people would call me and tell thank me which was crazy. Things are not the same anymore.
It was about 6 years ago I had met these people and would hang out and drive around and eat at places and talk and have a good time. I started learning the esoteric arts and occult practices. I thought I was going to get all these people together. I don’t think it was wrong but I was definitely trying hard to shove all these people together in one house one day to talk about building an order. I don’t understand how all those people liked me but didn’t like each other. I later found out that most of them didn’t like me at all and the ones that did like me, didn’t like to be with me around those other people which was weird. I wished people would just get along but it never happened. In my mind I thought we were all having a great time but I was just being used for my energy. Crazy how vampires can come in the shape of hot girls even though you aint trying to get with them, just chill and talk because at that time I didn’t trust nobody. Still don’t but things are different for me. That all ended and I moved to LB and I got a job as a psychic at a botanica on 7th and cherry. It was cool but business traffic was not the greatest. I remember healing so many people and helping so many people but I guess that was then. I do love long beach and love all the people I met there. I can’t wait to one day buy a house in LB.
Friends are friends and people are people. People in Cali are sure different from people in New York. Obviously, my friends back home that I was super close with would definitely be a different feel but also because how we grew up. People here in Cali are nice and cool for the most part. I’m glad to know and experience kindness and time spent with friends. I am grateful beyond measure to have been able to know so many people and drive in cars and go to far places and eat and nice restaurants and enjoy the time and jokes and conversation. I love all people even if people don’t like or love me. I am just that type of dude. I do miss certain people in my life. Even though I knew some trump fans and disagreed with people, I don’t regret making friends. I had many fall outs with many people even here in Cali but I’m always a phone call away. I think people really do bullshyt because I’m always forgiving and care and always want to chill and have a nice time even if it is just hanging out down a park or where people shop or go hang at a store or just a ride. Damn, man whats up with people?
This day turned out to be crazy. I told the whole world I was going to kill everyone because this person verbally attacked my girlfriend. Eh, I am human but I guess also that I do take things far. Oh well, what can I say. Your either going to love me or hate me or be afraid of me. This has been happening my whole life. Since I was a little kid in the street, people either adored me or hated me. Nothing in between accept in Cali. People are definitely calling me on a year to year basis lately. Its ok, its all good. Everyone lives their lives and for this reason I just stay to myself. I don’t even hang with people because it’s just the same old thing. I like to do things though. I’m just too old. I don’t know, I know there are things to do. Life is definitely different for me these days. I can’t even go no where because of my living condition but if I do, It’s gotta be one of those journey’s that are worth it. Like I gotta make money for one and I gotta be able to get back safely. Eh, I guess when I talk to the rest of the world it’s in riddles. I know things will get better and I will make up for telling everyone I was going to kill them just because my gf was verbally attacked at a store and invite everyone over and have a good time. Or we go hang out. I want to throw a giant party like AMBILIGHT. Anyways, I hope I didn’t scare everyone with my psycho killer videos i made on live facebook feed. I was just pissed and I have just about had it with these racist pontifications animating themselves my way. WHAT THE FUCK, LEAVE ME ALONE….
As far as friends, be careful. Not every one is your friend for real. Shyt, for me personally, I don’t care. See, when I was a kid my gram told me just be people’s friend. Don’t worry about having friends. She was right.
